If you could get a diploma or make a career in excuses, I would be at least a professor by now. My speciality and main focus of research would be excuses for not getting up in the morning to go for a run. I’ve already made some classifications within the field, in case someone suddenly would grant me some research money.
For example, we’ve got the Safety Excuses:
- The sun doesn’t rise until about 6 am. Since I need to be back home by then to have a shower and breakfast before going to work, it will be dark when I go for my run. Everyone has been telling me not to be outside by myself when it’s dark, so I’ll have to skip my run today.
- It might be cloudy outside and if it’s cloudy it might be raining. If it’s raining a thunderstorm might roll in and it’s probably not safe to run along a beach during a thunderstorm. So, I’ll have to skip my run today and stay in bed for another hour. (This one is preferably defined without looking out the window.)
- When there aren’t that many cars out in Rio, the ones that are on the road tend to ignore the traffic lights. Since I need to cross at two traffic lights to get to the beach, I’ll be running an increased risk to be hit by a car even if I cross when Mr. Green Man tells me to. Better go for a run when there are more cars out and skip the one this morning.
Then we’ve got the Lack of Sleep Excuses:
- It took me about 10 minutes longer to fall asleep last night and I easily get a cold if I’m lacking sleep. Since I don’t want to catch a cold, I better stay in bed and not get up for a run.
- An important meeting might have been scheduled for this morning, without me knowing about it. If I reduce my sleep with one hour, I might increase the risk of getting tired during that potential meeting and even be sitting there nodding. And that would come across as very unprofessional. Thus, no run today either.
- Only got 6 hours of sleep the night between Saturday and Sunday (or any other random days) so might be lacking sleep already without having noticed it. As a precaution I should cancel my run.
- I was training last night when it was really hot outside. Because of the heat I had to drink a lot of water. As a natural result of that, I had to get up in the middle of the night. I’ve thus slept less than I thought I would have and need to compensate for that and not go for a run.
The rest would be classified within the Just Weird Ones:
- I’ve planned to go training tonight and I’ve read a lot about people getting over trained. I wouldn’t want to risk that since if that happened I wouldn’t be able to train for months. Better skip the running today.
- If I go for a run I will be really hungry when I get back. If I eat just after training, my body will probably use the energy a lot faster than if I haven’t been running. I’ll thus risk getting hungry fairly soon again when I’m at work and will have to stay hungry until lunchtime. Since I get in a bad mood when I’m hungry, it’s probably better not to go for a run or my colleagues might get in a bad mood because I’m in a bad mood. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?
- I’ve planned to wear my black pants to work. Since they’re slightly too long, I will have to wear high heels with them. If I get up now and go for my run, my calves will be tired when I put my working clothes and shoes on and it’s probably not good to walk around in high heels if your calves are tired. Perhaps I’ll even get the cramps at work due to this. So I better skip the run today.
And so on and on and on… I have got plenty more and as you’ve already realized, all of them make total sense and can of course be supported by medical research (Dr. H. U. Mbug has written quite a few papers related to this subject). Think I would be struggling with my working hours as a professor though and I wouldn’t see my colleagues that much. This because I seem to be most creative between 5 and 5.30 am…and even more efficient on weekends with extended hours to 8 am.
Talking about professors, the quickest way of getting the title is probably to become a gym instructor and move to Brazil. At least it will say professor on your back when you’re walking around helping people at the flash gyms over here.
For example, we’ve got the Safety Excuses:
- The sun doesn’t rise until about 6 am. Since I need to be back home by then to have a shower and breakfast before going to work, it will be dark when I go for my run. Everyone has been telling me not to be outside by myself when it’s dark, so I’ll have to skip my run today.
- It might be cloudy outside and if it’s cloudy it might be raining. If it’s raining a thunderstorm might roll in and it’s probably not safe to run along a beach during a thunderstorm. So, I’ll have to skip my run today and stay in bed for another hour. (This one is preferably defined without looking out the window.)
- When there aren’t that many cars out in Rio, the ones that are on the road tend to ignore the traffic lights. Since I need to cross at two traffic lights to get to the beach, I’ll be running an increased risk to be hit by a car even if I cross when Mr. Green Man tells me to. Better go for a run when there are more cars out and skip the one this morning.
Then we’ve got the Lack of Sleep Excuses:
- It took me about 10 minutes longer to fall asleep last night and I easily get a cold if I’m lacking sleep. Since I don’t want to catch a cold, I better stay in bed and not get up for a run.
- An important meeting might have been scheduled for this morning, without me knowing about it. If I reduce my sleep with one hour, I might increase the risk of getting tired during that potential meeting and even be sitting there nodding. And that would come across as very unprofessional. Thus, no run today either.
- Only got 6 hours of sleep the night between Saturday and Sunday (or any other random days) so might be lacking sleep already without having noticed it. As a precaution I should cancel my run.
- I was training last night when it was really hot outside. Because of the heat I had to drink a lot of water. As a natural result of that, I had to get up in the middle of the night. I’ve thus slept less than I thought I would have and need to compensate for that and not go for a run.
The rest would be classified within the Just Weird Ones:
- I’ve planned to go training tonight and I’ve read a lot about people getting over trained. I wouldn’t want to risk that since if that happened I wouldn’t be able to train for months. Better skip the running today.
- If I go for a run I will be really hungry when I get back. If I eat just after training, my body will probably use the energy a lot faster than if I haven’t been running. I’ll thus risk getting hungry fairly soon again when I’m at work and will have to stay hungry until lunchtime. Since I get in a bad mood when I’m hungry, it’s probably better not to go for a run or my colleagues might get in a bad mood because I’m in a bad mood. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?
- I’ve planned to wear my black pants to work. Since they’re slightly too long, I will have to wear high heels with them. If I get up now and go for my run, my calves will be tired when I put my working clothes and shoes on and it’s probably not good to walk around in high heels if your calves are tired. Perhaps I’ll even get the cramps at work due to this. So I better skip the run today.
And so on and on and on… I have got plenty more and as you’ve already realized, all of them make total sense and can of course be supported by medical research (Dr. H. U. Mbug has written quite a few papers related to this subject). Think I would be struggling with my working hours as a professor though and I wouldn’t see my colleagues that much. This because I seem to be most creative between 5 and 5.30 am…and even more efficient on weekends with extended hours to 8 am.
Talking about professors, the quickest way of getting the title is probably to become a gym instructor and move to Brazil. At least it will say professor on your back when you’re walking around helping people at the flash gyms over here.
