For sure, the gym is a just as good place to watch people as the airport, if not even better. I’m in doubt if these posh gyms are my kind of thing though, I liked the totally worn out, bodybuilder/sports people one in Alkmaar a lot better. But paid a ridiculously high amount for joining the gym next door (back to the walk alone, late at night in the darkness kind of arguments when making the choice), so better make sure to use it to the max now. Amil packed up just before Christmas by the way, and I haven’t seen him since. He should probably have been able to push the prices a bit. At least his AC expenses would have been a lot less (read non-existing) compared to my gym of choice.
My only reason for going to a gym is to get some quality training done. Most of the times, to make sure the muscles I want to use for various sports don’t deteriorate. Over here, I’ve extended it to a few boxing sessions and these interesting fitness/weight training/body toning sessions as well. The latter is like entering a new and different world to me.
First of all, we’ve got the Hot Surf Dude Instructor. Surfing in the morning, spending the afternoons at the gym, a few cool tattoos and the general look of “I couldn’t care less what I look like, I just happen to be this hot anyways.” No further comments needed I think – you get the point. He is also in possession of the great skill of being able to make all the women in the group feel like he’s flirting and paying extra attention to just them. This can be very tricky to spot yourself during the actual session if you’re of the female gender, but the easier to pick up if you happen to arrive early and watch a few minutes of the session before yours.
In the very front of the group, about 53 cm from the mirrors, we’ll find Miss Perfect Bikini Babe. The most amazing picture perfect body with muscles and shapes the rest of us would only dream of. She’d normally be dressed in short tights and a strapless bikini top (I must have been massively mislead in a sports shop or by media or something regarding the sports-bra concept). Even though she must have spent numerous hours training to get that body, the main aim for going to the gym is not to train, but to use the mirrors. The trick to get the most mirror hours out of your visit is to participate in as many classes as possible, but to only do about one third of all the exercises in each session. The other two thirds of the time you can either just stand and look at yourself in the mirror with your hands on your hips, or stretch a little bit (while studying your stretching technique in the mirror) or simply just try different flexing poses to enjoy the view of yourself in the mirror even more. If you’ve participated in the session prior to the present one, you can skip all exercises during the first 15 minutes, since you’ve already warmed up in the previous session, to get even more quality mirror time.
Somewhere in the back row, we would have Mr Clever Shy Guy who totally got his tactics set up. What could be a better place to pick up girls than at the gym, in a class with females only? Of course, he’ll have a strong competitor in the Hot Surf Dude Instructor, but statistically with so many women around, he should have a good shot at someone still. He’s one of the more consistent participants with a nice and polite attitude to everyone else in the group.
Sadly enough, Mrs Skinny Raisin To Be would also be present most of the sessions. Probably only half the age she looks, but a lifetime of tanning can make wonders if you’re trying to disguise your young age. The dumbbells, her tiny arms are able to handle, have about the same weight as the total weight of gold in her ears, on her fingers and around her neck. The only part of her body with some volume is located some 35 cm below her eyes. Like so many other Brazilian women, she’s contributing to keeping the world’s back-up storage of Silicone in a safe place. I would recommend a nice restaurant with some hearty food for her on a Friday night instead of a gym session.
Then we’ve got Miss Outdoor Sports Nerd, a.k.a. Caroline. Not many bikinis, much jewellery or lip jobs to be seen on her. The characteristic outfit would instead be semi-baggy, ¾ length sports pants, worn-out indoor sports shoes (originating from a previous life as a sports shop assistant) and a stinky breathable t-shirt with some kind of canoe polo logo on the back. At the most, some mascara would still hang on to her eyelashes from a day at work and the t-shirt might have been replaced with a tank top. She can also be recognized by being out of sync with the rest of the participants since she seldom gets the verbal instructions, but need to watch and copy. (Really need to stop to blaming everything on the Portuguese language soon.)
We’ve also got this neon theme going on, as a general trend throughout the group. Neon tights, bright coloured tops with gigantic floral patterns, neon nail polish and huge earrings dangling half way to the shoulders. I can’t even figure out if these people are wearing the Jane Fonda look-alike outfits again or still. On the other hand, I’m normally a couple of years after everyone else when it comes to fashion, so it’s probably more likely that I’ve missed out on something. Better go and get my own neon stuff.
Mrs Former Body Builder is one of the leading fashion gurus within the neon and swimsuit-on-top-of-tights fashion in the group. She is also impressively strong and loads her body with all the weight belts there are.
And I've figured out why Brazilian women have the most amazing legs. If you spend 95% of your training sessions doing squats and “peeing dog” exercises, hour after hour after hour, I’m sure it would pay off. I’m still at the cannot-walk-for-a-week stage after those sessions…even though I use the tiniest weight belts there are.
Conveniently enough, they’ve also put an elevator the 7-storey gym. Good to know that the ones who go there merely to use the mirrors, hang out with their mates and check their e-mails don’t have to get sweaty or risk straining a muscle while doing so.
My new runners are on their way from the US. Thanks for your efforts Deep, much appreciated. I’ll be bouncing like a gazelle and quick as The Road Runner in my new black beauties….Beep Beep!
My only reason for going to a gym is to get some quality training done. Most of the times, to make sure the muscles I want to use for various sports don’t deteriorate. Over here, I’ve extended it to a few boxing sessions and these interesting fitness/weight training/body toning sessions as well. The latter is like entering a new and different world to me.
First of all, we’ve got the Hot Surf Dude Instructor. Surfing in the morning, spending the afternoons at the gym, a few cool tattoos and the general look of “I couldn’t care less what I look like, I just happen to be this hot anyways.” No further comments needed I think – you get the point. He is also in possession of the great skill of being able to make all the women in the group feel like he’s flirting and paying extra attention to just them. This can be very tricky to spot yourself during the actual session if you’re of the female gender, but the easier to pick up if you happen to arrive early and watch a few minutes of the session before yours.
In the very front of the group, about 53 cm from the mirrors, we’ll find Miss Perfect Bikini Babe. The most amazing picture perfect body with muscles and shapes the rest of us would only dream of. She’d normally be dressed in short tights and a strapless bikini top (I must have been massively mislead in a sports shop or by media or something regarding the sports-bra concept). Even though she must have spent numerous hours training to get that body, the main aim for going to the gym is not to train, but to use the mirrors. The trick to get the most mirror hours out of your visit is to participate in as many classes as possible, but to only do about one third of all the exercises in each session. The other two thirds of the time you can either just stand and look at yourself in the mirror with your hands on your hips, or stretch a little bit (while studying your stretching technique in the mirror) or simply just try different flexing poses to enjoy the view of yourself in the mirror even more. If you’ve participated in the session prior to the present one, you can skip all exercises during the first 15 minutes, since you’ve already warmed up in the previous session, to get even more quality mirror time.
Somewhere in the back row, we would have Mr Clever Shy Guy who totally got his tactics set up. What could be a better place to pick up girls than at the gym, in a class with females only? Of course, he’ll have a strong competitor in the Hot Surf Dude Instructor, but statistically with so many women around, he should have a good shot at someone still. He’s one of the more consistent participants with a nice and polite attitude to everyone else in the group.
Sadly enough, Mrs Skinny Raisin To Be would also be present most of the sessions. Probably only half the age she looks, but a lifetime of tanning can make wonders if you’re trying to disguise your young age. The dumbbells, her tiny arms are able to handle, have about the same weight as the total weight of gold in her ears, on her fingers and around her neck. The only part of her body with some volume is located some 35 cm below her eyes. Like so many other Brazilian women, she’s contributing to keeping the world’s back-up storage of Silicone in a safe place. I would recommend a nice restaurant with some hearty food for her on a Friday night instead of a gym session.
Then we’ve got Miss Outdoor Sports Nerd, a.k.a. Caroline. Not many bikinis, much jewellery or lip jobs to be seen on her. The characteristic outfit would instead be semi-baggy, ¾ length sports pants, worn-out indoor sports shoes (originating from a previous life as a sports shop assistant) and a stinky breathable t-shirt with some kind of canoe polo logo on the back. At the most, some mascara would still hang on to her eyelashes from a day at work and the t-shirt might have been replaced with a tank top. She can also be recognized by being out of sync with the rest of the participants since she seldom gets the verbal instructions, but need to watch and copy. (Really need to stop to blaming everything on the Portuguese language soon.)
We’ve also got this neon theme going on, as a general trend throughout the group. Neon tights, bright coloured tops with gigantic floral patterns, neon nail polish and huge earrings dangling half way to the shoulders. I can’t even figure out if these people are wearing the Jane Fonda look-alike outfits again or still. On the other hand, I’m normally a couple of years after everyone else when it comes to fashion, so it’s probably more likely that I’ve missed out on something. Better go and get my own neon stuff.
Mrs Former Body Builder is one of the leading fashion gurus within the neon and swimsuit-on-top-of-tights fashion in the group. She is also impressively strong and loads her body with all the weight belts there are.
And I've figured out why Brazilian women have the most amazing legs. If you spend 95% of your training sessions doing squats and “peeing dog” exercises, hour after hour after hour, I’m sure it would pay off. I’m still at the cannot-walk-for-a-week stage after those sessions…even though I use the tiniest weight belts there are.
Conveniently enough, they’ve also put an elevator the 7-storey gym. Good to know that the ones who go there merely to use the mirrors, hang out with their mates and check their e-mails don’t have to get sweaty or risk straining a muscle while doing so.
My new runners are on their way from the US. Thanks for your efforts Deep, much appreciated. I’ll be bouncing like a gazelle and quick as The Road Runner in my new black beauties….Beep Beep!
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